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EXPLODA!
' 'EXPLODA! is a high-energy, high-density soft drink, marketed as having a "distinct" flavor and being made with "real explosions". A typical 14oz can of EXPLODA! weighs roughly 7 pounds due to EXPLODA!'s high density. The drink was created in the 2890s and first served around 2895. EXPLODA! was first marketed planetwide on Muladoon in 2903 and is now also sold on many other planets. Variants include two lower-caffeine and lower-sugar versions called EXPLODA! Low Yield and EXPLODA! Firecracker, respectively; as well as a line of versions with additional flavors and potency, first introduced in the 3000s. Yzo Engo'hravu, a former CEO of EXPLODA!corp, described the taste of EXPLODA! as unique, saying "(It) feels like someone detonated a grenade in my mouth. It's very different from anything out there. It's not completely sweet or fizzy or bitter or tangy or...anything. It's a different kind of drank ''sic''] with a thing about it which makes me want to crush a truck with my bare hands or a blunt object. I cannot get enough of it." Exploda is a portmanteau of "explosion" and "soda". Variants 'Classic' The original EXPLODA!, which has changed little in its 131-year history, possesses caffeine and sugar on an "astronomical" level, as well as many other ingredients that boost flavor and energy. 'Nutrition facts' *Serving size: 14 fl oz *Servings per container: 1 *Calories: 50,250 *Calories from fat: 13,050 % Daily value (DV)1 *Total fat: 60% **Saturated fat: 50% **Trans fat: 35% *Cholesterol: 70% *Sodium: 10% *Potassium: 3% *Total carbs: 1,500% **Dietary fiber: -2% **Sugars: 1,500% *Protein: 20% *Vitamin A: 10% *Vitamin C: 11% *Calcium: 4% *Iron: 7% *Caffeine: 2,300% 1''Percent daily values are based on a 5,000‑calorie/day diet.'' '"Safer" versions' *'EXPLODA! Low Yield' features a lighter load of caffeine and sugar, possessing a "mere" 250% DV sugar and "meager" 1000% DV caffeine. It has 26,000 calories. *'EXPLODA! Firecracker' features even smaller amounts of sugar and caffeine than Low Yield: 120% DV sugar and 300% DV caffeine, with "only" 10,000 calories. 'Extreme versions' *'EXPLODA! SugaRage' is a low-caffeine variant which possesses sugar and other analogs at phenomenal levels. Though the caffeine is "just" 500% DV, the sugar is at 11,000% DV. It contains 75,800 calories. *'EXPLODA! Boss' has the highest sugar content of them all, 45,000% DV, along with other energetic ingredients. Surprisingly, it possesses no caffeine whatsoever, instead using more efficient and less-toxic energy-boosters. It has 150,000 calories, and each 14oz can, due to the even higher density of the beverage, weighs 20 lbs. Other products *EXPLODA! Crunch Massacre, a breakfast cereal. *EXPLODA! Crunch Massacre 2: Glucocide, a breakfast cereal with twice the food-energy of its predecessor. *EXPLODA! Vaporize, an inhalable version of the popular drink. It can be used in place of oxygen, but that is not recommended as the user may become addicted. Marketing "Made with REAL explosions!" "Ignore your doctor! It's time to live it up!" "More energy than a pulsar!" "Drink EXPLODA! Become one with power!" "Genuine mix of 400 different flavors!" Biological effects EXPLODA! affects each species in a different way. The native drinkers of EXPLODA!, Oex'Sunels and Pacahtuks, simply get a joyful buzz and energy boost from the beverage. Other species react in lesser or greater ways: *Humans tend to exhibit spasms and extreme hyperactivity when exposed to even a small amount of EXPLODA!, and rapid weight gain (sometimes debilitating) can occur if extreme energy expenditure is not conducted, usually in the form of frantic sprinting for miles. They can also die from caffeine poisoning if too much is consumed (which is easy to do). *At least a few Tegattai display a brief bout of total insanity, becoming a danger to themselves and those around them. *Reajura will literally explode if more than one drink is consumed. Otherwise, they sometimes enter a coma. *Crux seem to enjoy EXPLODA! with few issues (they are one of the largest non-Muladooni consumers), though a small number of Crux will display insanity. *Evordinos consider EXPLODA! to be a "delectable concoction of sweet and energy-rich nourishment." They claim it aids them in retaining a higher body weight during the brutal winters on Sieos. *The natives of Caiiosi Hygus greatly enjoy the high caffeine content, as they consider caffeine to be an important part of a healthy diet. It should be noted that their biology is very different from most species in the galaxy. *The burly Eyollaks enjoy the high energy content, but the high caffeine tends to induce a form of drunkenness if too much is consumed. They can also experience considerable weight gain if the energy is not expended shortly after consumption. *Aaltice display emotions more openly after consuming one can of EXPLODA!, and tend to become very hyperactive. They also seem to be most susceptible to EXPLODA!-induced weight gain than other species, readily retaining fifteen pounds of fat or more in only a day if the energy is not expended. One Aaltice drank three cans of EXPLODA! at once and passed out, waking up two days later carrying an extra fifty pounds. Controversy An estimated 3,400 people have died as a result of the insane amounts of sugar, caffeine, and other chemicals present in the drink; and the obesity rate has soared to new levels of absurdity in places that consume the most EXPLODA!. Despite these factors, it is still in massive production and is showing no signs of slowing down. Benefits If the extreme amount of energy is used wisely, a consumer can achieve greater levels of physical ability. Extreme sports athletes regularly drink EXPLODA! to push themselves well beyond their normal thresholds of endurance and strength. It also has the peculiar effect of granting brief regenerative abilities. Category:Food Category:Products of EXPLODA!corp Category:Beverages Category:Energy drinks